I've just been walking the dog. The sun is out in London today. Is that Spring on the way? Behind where I live is a Business Park which is rather beautiful, having a very large lake and landscape borders. As I walked I found myself in a pensive mood and I started to tackle the question of loyalty. Once again it has raised it's ugly head in my life and I find myself waving the loyalty flag and no one can see it.
Is loyalty such a big thing between families or friends? or is it just me?
Walking along enjoying the fresh March air I came to realise that loyalty is a big issue for me and I've lost a few people in my life to it. I can only think it derives from my childhood when my fathers loyalties where to everyone except my mother. I probably heard and saw too much. Therefore, lack of loyalty from those who should be showing it stirs up very strong emotions in me.
But am I strange? Are my standards too high? I have also come to realise, by listening to friends, that it's not always a big issue for them. They just turn the blind eye.
And then I thought if only I hadn't had a certain level of expectation from close family to show their loyalty, that my life would have turned out so differently. Maybe I should have turned the blind eye too.
Our Emotions are challenging and I am trying hard through a new yogic style of life to get some control over my emotions. It's a slow process as I can get so passionately involved in the cause!
I feel I have had an eureka moment today where as I must except that other peoples standards of loyalty are not the same as mine. We grasp the idea of loyalty as we grow from various sources and experiences. Peoples level of loyalty is quite complex and until today I thought we were all on the same page, but we're not.
However, I want to go through my life being loyal and even if I don't get it back I'm going to still wave that flag.
